So I'm watching an animes here. I don't know what it's deal is besides the fact that it's only six episodes long which seems about as long as I'm willing to spend looking at animes. It's called FLCL. Let's do this!
What Happened
The fuck is this? Some high school chick is making out with an elementary school kid underneath a bridge. Apparently this is a thing that happens often much to the elementary school kid's chagrin. The kid does that Wonder Years narrator thing and talks about how nothing ever happens in his town. There's some factory that looks like an iron or some shit that everyone is happy came to town.
The high school girl and elementary school kid drink some kind of drink out of a vending machine. The boy has a hickey on his neck due to the girl's poor kissing ability. Suddenly some psycho runs over the boy on a Vespa scooter and then gives him mouth to mouth resuscitation. Once the boy comes to the Vespa lady nails him in the head with a bass guitar. The high school girl takes pictures of this as it's happening.
Vehicular homicide?
The boy ends up with a weird looking horn deal coming out of his forehead where he got whacked with the bass. He covers it with a bandage and goes to school where all of his classmates are talking about the weird Vespa lady who leaves a mark that will never go away on perverts.
He goes to the hospital after school but runs into the Vespa lady again. He runs away from her to the hospital but she disguises herself as a nurse. When she reveals herself to him he flees from the hospital and goes back home, but the Vespa lady is there too, having been hired by his dad to work as a live-in maid.
There's some long sequence that looks like a comic book with barely any animation with a lot of screaming about Foori Coori or some fucking nonsense that was probably about fucking or something. The dad calls the high school girl a slut or a whore or something. I don't even know, it was super annoying and gave me a headache.
We get a shot of pre-teen cartoon boy ass as the boy bathes and then he goes back to his room where he finds the Vespa lady. Apparently she'll be bunking with him. She's going to take the top bunk but the boy's like, "NO! That's my brother's bed!" so she decides to sleep in the same bed as the boy which causes him to abandon his bedroom and go downstairs to sleep.
His dad's like, "So you got run over too eh? That high school chick dropped off these photos when she came to pick up the old bread we sell at a deep discount in our bakery because apparently we're bakers. Is her family dirt poor or some shit?"The boy then runs out of his house and goes to the bridge and finds the high school girl smoking there.
Smoke 'em if you got 'em...
She tells him how much she likes his older brother but then the boy tells her that because his brother is a famous baseball superstar he has an EVIL AMERICAN GIRLFRIEND in America. The high school girl is about to have an orgasm or something and starts yelling about overflowing and the Giant Iron Factory starts glowing.
Suddenly a giant robot and a giant robot hand come out of the boy's head bump and start fighting. They giant robot battle on the bridge and the the Vespa lady shows up and smashes the winner of the robot battle with her bass.
The next day (I assume) the boy's head is back to normal and now the Vespa lady and a robot in a bomber jacket live at his house and work in his dad's bakery or something.
Thoughts
This may have been a huge mistake. This show is loud, nonsensical bullshit that is being passed off as some deep mystery. Maybe shit will make sense later but right now it's a bunch of "What the fuck is happening?" not "Why is this happening?" Most of the characters are also shrill and annoying. It's a 30 minute show though so I'll give it a couple more episodes to reel me in before I write it, and the entirety of anime off forever. To end things on a positive note, though, the music in this show is pretty solid. I should check out who did it because whoever they are is pretty good at indie rocking.
Giant Robots: Yup
Lesbian Subtext: Nope
Boobs: Nope, but pre-teen boy ass.
Body Horror: Yup.
Magical Teen Girls: Maybe?
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